Sunday, February 26, 2012

What do you think of my story?

So this is a fan-fiction of after Mockingjay is over in The Hunger Games series. It's in Peeta's point of view (cause I love Peeta) so tell me what you think:

"And here, five years later, are the star-crossed lovers from District 12," says Ceaser Flickerman. The star-crossed lovers from District 12. Will that title ever be dropped? But the very mention of our names sends the crowd wild. I look down to see Katniss' hand reaching into mine. I will never let her go again. So I take her hand and we walk on stage. Ceaser Flickerman smiles and when we're closer, he shakes my hand and gives Katniss a quick embrace. I shoot him a look; I can't trust the Capitol. We sit on a deep red love seat, Katniss skoots close to me and holds tight to my left arm as the crowds cherring begins to die down.

"Oh Katniss you look stunning tonight!" Ceaser Flickerman exclaims.

"Thank you," she says quielty and her eyes flicker to the floor. It's true, she does look stunning. She's dressed in a pale orange dress that goes to her knees. Her black hair, which is now a little past her shoulders is let down with loose curls at the ends.

"Your welcome. So to get to the question everyone is dying to know the answer to, " Ceaser says, "With Peeta surviving the hijacking," he looks at me and I nod slightly, "When is the big day?"

"Honestly, we haven't thought about it," I say. This gets a loud responce of dissaproval from the crowd.

"Well that ring of Katniss' shows you thought about it a little," he says gesturing towards the ring on Katniss' left hand. That's true, atleast somewhat. It was about a year ago that I relized Katniss still had the pearl I gave her in the Quarter Quell arena. I had it made into a ring and proposed to her in the woods outside of District 12, her favorite place.

"I did propose about a year ago," I say.

"And no wedding preperations have been made?" he asks.

"With Peeta still recovering from the hijacking, it doesn't seem like the right time," Katniss replies.

"Oh yes, thank you for reminding me Katniss," Ceaser says too brightly, "Peeta, everyone wants to know. Can you recap any of your time here in the Capitol?" I would rather not, but that's not the kind of thing you say at an interview,

"it was horrible, being turned against the one you love, to actually believe she was a beast. It makes you wonder what else you'll think," I say.

"And those interviews you and I had. Do you remember any of them?" he asks.

"Not at all. But I do remember saying something, it was obviously pretty bad, because I remember being hit, it was hard too, so hard I don't remember what happened directly after that, well I suppose that's why I don't remember," I say. A flash of recognition goes across Ceaser's eyes, and Katniss gasps beside me and buries her face in my shirt.

"Katniss, this must really bring back strong memories for you," Ceaser says. She doesn't respind, but I can feel the light drip of tears on mt shirt.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry," Ceaser says and goes to touch Katniss, I know this is meant as a nice gesture, but I shoot him a look and push his hand away. The look in his eyes shows his confusion and he backs away.

"Well that's all the time swe have, we will be back with Peeta and Katniss soon," Ceaser says and a man from behind a camera calls, "It's a wrap,". I let Katniss just sit there beside me for a while as I stroke her hair. She's mostly silent and mostly still except when her grip tightens on my shirt.

"Katniss," I say. She looks up, "I think we should go now," Haymitch is standing at the enterance of the stage with a look that obviously means to hurry up because we have somewhere to be. Katniss sits up as if just noticing we're still on the stage for the first time. "Oh yeah, let's go," she says. We stand up and walk off stage. "It's about time!" Haymitch shouts. He brings us back to the training center. As the elevator shoots up, I remember all those times Katniss and I stood here as young and frightened tributes, then yet again as victors. All the times we didn't know what would happen next, and now we stand here, young and safe and insperable by anything. When we reach the 12th floor, Effie rushes towards us. "Oh dear, what happened?" she asks frantically. "Little Miss Sunshine over here got emotional at the interview," Haymitch says. I know what she remembered, it had to be her sister. "Shut up Haymitch," I say sharply. "Oh go bake some bread," he says and walks off into his room. Effie ignores haymitch and rushes us into the dining room. There are no more Avoxs to serve us now, they aWhat do you think of my story?
Um, did you read Mockingjay!!!???

First off the capitol is destroyed and Peeta and Katniss have kids.....this would never have happened. The crowd would have hated them, they set the attack against the city and Katniss voted for a Hunger Games with capitol children....I mean the writing is ok, and sorry to be harsh, but the story just doesn't fit!What do you think of my story?
I love it! Are you going to add more? Tell me if you do.



Mine?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>What do you think of my story?
You should set it out properly. If you had it nice and clear and easy to read maybe I would of read more. But nice use of punctuation, well done.
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